What to do?

So I obviously forgot about posting on the weekend. Must have been because I didn’t write it on my handy to do list or put it in as a reminder on my phone. If I don’t do either, more than likely I won’t remember to do it. Baby brain is VERY REAL.

So now that I am home during the day I admit, I do watch TV. It may take me a few hours to watch a show (I often pause it to go do something with Izzy and I completely forget I’m watching the show), but I find it gives me something to do while I am cleaning, washing bottles, doing laundry, etc. I usually watch TLC or HGTV (I’m so old and boring lol) and I was watching one of TLC’s many baby shows. There was a mom on there who became pregnant after doctors told her she’d never be able to conceive (I can’t remember what disease she had). So she is in labor, and her baby’s heart rate drops, and the doctors try to convince her to get an epidural. She refuses because it wasn’t in her birth plan and she ends up getting one anyway when she has an emergency C-section.

Now I was a little annoyed with this mom.  I couldn’t understand why she couldn’t let go of her plan and make the best decision for her child. However, I am sure she learned her lesson by the end of her birthing experience. I can relate, because I faced the same decision when I was in labor. Isabelle’s heart rate kept dropping and they gave me the option to have a C-Section or wait and see if I would dilate more. I was confused, stressed, and felt like I didn’t know what to do at first. However, I quickly realized that Isabelle was potentially in trouble, and I didn’t want to have an emergency C-section.  This was the first huge decision we would have to make as parents and in the future we will have to make many more. I find it amazing that as soon as you become a parent your child becomes the most important thing in your world. Children cause you to be completely selfless and though I miss things like sleeping in, I know that I am becoming a better person because of my daughter.

  • Highlights of my week – I caught Isabelle rolling over on video! I walked in her room as she was halfway there. It was a great moment.
  • Funniest moment of the week – She likes to sit on her daddy’s shoulders now and has started doing something that sounds like a laugh when they do this.
  • Crazy parent moment of the week – I was doing laundry and took her to the basement with me to get a load out of the dryer. I didn’t know where to put her while I was getting the clothes out, so I put her inside of the empty laundry basket:) lol Then I put her on top of the clothes on our way upIt’s funny how creative you get as a parent because all you have are 2 hands:)
  • Milestone of the week – She started rolling over and then stopped lol. Luckily I got the first time on video.
  • Bellelesson of the week – When you don’t know what to do, pray and ask God to make the best decision for your child(ren).
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Whitney

When Whitney Houston died almost a week ago, I knew that I would write about her in my blog this week. There are so many things I could write about when thinking about her.  I could write about how tragic her death has been. I could write about her struggle with addictions and how her life could have turned out if she had maybe chosen her company differently. I could write about her mother’s pain, as her worst nightmare has now come true. However, the first thing that came to my mind when I heard about Whitney was her daughter. Whether or not you followed her music (I have childhood memories of listening to her albums with my father) and were/were not shocked by her death, any mother would be heartbroken at the thought of leaving her child(ren) behind.

As people speculate to what caused Whitney’s death and discuss many of the unfortunate things that happened during her life, I really hope and pray her daughter is surrounded by people who will encourage her to remember her mother for what she did well in her life. That’s what I would want someone to do for me.

When I think of my mother, many memories come to mind (and the good definitely outweigh the bad). I love how the simple smell of something can remind me of my mother, or how her influence has an effect on me so much that people who haven’t seen me in years, but know her, comment on how much I am like her.  I also love that her embrace is still the most comfortable place to be when I am down. I don’t know how many years I’ll be able to share life on this earth with my baby girl, but I hope that she can create her own fond memories of me with whatever time we are given.

  • Highlights of my week : She is 4 months old today! Our baby girl is growing up.
  • Funniest moment of the week: If I lean in close to her face, she grabs it (which is so cute), and tries to eat my lips…lol. Everything is chewable to her.
  • Crazy parent moment of the week: Weirdly enough, I can’t think of one. I’m sure we had one…but overall we had a good week.
  • Milestone of the week: She held her bottle all by herself ! It was only for about 15 seconds but it was so cute!
  • Bellelesson of the week: Create lasting memories for your children. Memories are all they will have when you are gone.

Good Mom vs Bad Mom

This week I have been struggling with being good. Being a good mom, a good wife, a good Christian, and being good to myself.  I’m not sure who told women that we need to be perfect, but for some reason we try to achieve this unattainable goal. I think that being a mother somehow highlights all the flaws you have (e.g., you don’t eat healthy and in return you can have a gassy baby).

So this week I found myelf feeling overwhelmed with all the responsilities I hold (some self-imposed).  My daughter usually only naps for 30 minutes at a time, so I spend my day planning what I will do while she sleeps.  These tasks can include anything,  such as  cleaning the bathroom, washing bottles, doing a load of laundry,  or paying a bill.  As you can imagine, I have pretty much set myself up for failure.  So when my poor husband comes home from work and innocently asks “What did you do today?” I look at him like he is crazy because I feel like I haven’t completed anything at all.  Which I then equate to being a “bad” mom, wife, etc.

Well, I took my pumpkin to her 4 month doctor appointment and realized I left her baby bag at home. Even though I had spare diapers/wipes in the car, I felt awful and proceeded to think about all the things she may have needed from her bag, and was being seriously down on myself. As I grumpily put her car seat on the stroller, I looked down at her and she flashed me the cutest no teeth smile ever. I couldn’t help but smile back and thank God for a wise baby who knows how to bring her imperfect mommy back to reality.

  • Highlights of my week : She has been smiling at me all week, more than usual. As if she knows I need to take about 10 chill pills everyday. Lol
  • Funniest moment of the week: When she would try to fit all 10 fingers in her mouth at the same time.
  • Crazy parent moment of the week: I was almost done  changing her diaper when she decided she wasn’t finished yet! Boy I had to react quickly!
  • Milestone of the week: (This probably means nothing but…) She can really hold her head up ridiculously high during tummy time and she is starting to move her left leg  back and forth. Though I realize she is far from crawling, and how much my life will change when she does, this was very exciting to us. 🙂
  • Bellelesson of the week: Let go, Let God can also apply to all the “little” problems in my life. I have to let Him lead each day and go to bed knowing that the day went exactly as He planned. He doesn’t expect me to be perfect and neither does Belle:-)

Capture this!

I took my daughter to my husband’s office this week, and one of his co-workers told us “Make sure you video tape her all the time” since time passes by so quickly. The fact that I am sitting here exactly 2 weeks away from her “4 month birthday” is a great example of how much time has passed. I look at pictures of her as a newborn, and it feels like it was yesterday, but at the same time I can barely remember those days.

I am blessed to have a year at home with her (whoot whoot Canada!) and though I try to make sure we spend tons of quality time each day, I feel slightly disappointed when I can’t remember the first time she smiled. Being a parent sure does keep me on my toes, and I am pretty sure that I am usually doing at least 5 things at one time. Therefore, no matter how much I capture, I still feel like I am missing moments that I can never get back. So, the idea of this blog then came to my mind. I have always wanted to be a cool blogger (who know’s why lol) and I seriously need to start writing down our experiences with our little pumpkin, or before I know it she will be a year old, I’ll be back at work, and I won’t be able to remember her being this small (I’ve been told this countless times).

I’ll first go back and try to pull up a few of the most memorable snapshots I’ve captured in my “mommy” mind over the past 3 months…

  • Of course nothing beats the moments the doctors put her in our arms…still the best moment so far
  • She used to sleep all day and then wouldn’t go to sleep until 2 am. I’m so glad those days are over. She now usually sleeps 8-12 hours *happy dance*
  • My mom spent the first month here with us – moms really are the best
  • I flew to Michigan with her by myself. I was quite happy when daddy flew back with us.
  • She met family from both mommy and daddy’s side over the Christmas holiday – priceless moments
  • She started “talking”, making all kinds of noises. Even though I am a speech therapist – as a parent this surprised me and it made me feel like she was way ahead of all the other infants:) Her favorite thing to talk to was the Christmas tree.
  • She was dedicated to God on December 31, 2011
  • She would sleep with us or on our chest – the best feeling ever. She is now in her crib, which helps her parents sleep much better, but I secretly wish she could still sleep right next to me.

Now I really would like to update this weekly, so I can go back and read this later. However, in my 3 and 1/2 short months as a mom I have learned not to make any promises:) When I do write though, I think I’ll try to follow this format:

  • A quick blurb about what’s on my mind that week
  • Highlights of my week
  • Funniest moment of the week
  • Crazy parent moment of the week
  • Milestone of the week
  • Bellelesson of the week

Here’s this week’s post:

  • A quick blurb about what’s on my mind that week – did this already!
  • Highlights of my week – She is starting to know who her parents are. She will scan the room, find me, and smile.
  • Funniest moment of the week – Just happened tonight. She was “yelling” at us because she was hungry. She wasn’t crying; just shouting. We thought this was quite hilarious. (Hope she knows this won’t be funny once she can talk)
  • Crazy parent moment of the week – She got hungry on the way home from daddy’s job. We had to pull over to feed her (she will cry until she throws up) and she ate too fast and threw up anyway all over daddy. Then I had to change her clothes in the car on the side of the road. Then she smiled…lol
  • Milestone of the week – She is really showing signs of teething. She was chomping on her finger and teething rings today.
  • Bellelesson of the week – Everyday God gives us small little presents to put a smile on our faces. Are you taking the time to capture these moments? Try it. It will really make you smile in the midst of whatever craziness is going on in your life.

Till next week (I hope)