Grace Hope

I’m tired. I can’t remember the last time my brain has concentrated on just one thing at a time. I’m always doing 3+ things, which is really inefficient if you we’re wondering. I can’t help but think of this person I have become- that I don’t recognize.  I feel crazy and disorganized. The new me:
– has to look through piles of mail to find a bill that I’m praying isn’t late (that I remembered to pay at 5 o’clock in the morning)
– has 1000! (1000 you guys ) emails in my inbox.
– never remembers what I was trying to say and takes forever to type an email because I can’t figure out if I’m making sense
– is always doing laundry – ALWAYS
– forgets something everywhere (at work, home, the counter at the grocery store)
– can’t seem to go throughout the week without worrying about things such as sleep schedules, teething, baby proofing, ear infections, runny noses, healthy toddler meals (which is hard if your toddler only has 6 teeth), and yes how could I forget poop!

This new me is someone I don’t recognize.  I just want to sleep and not worry about anything. If I could invent a game show it would involve moms playing for the coveted prize: a nanny AND a personal assistant.

What I’m trying to say is no one told me it would be this much work. Well, maybe someone did, but there is no way of knowing how much your life will change when you become a mother.  And somedays you don’t want to be positive, or cheery – you want to cry, throw a tantrum, then take a nap:)

I’m blessed to have an awesome group of Christian women who are like family to me who are also mothers.  I reached out to them recently because it was 6:00 am and all I could do was think about my gigantic “to do list ” (since it appears like I took the week off from everything, not just work). The feedback I received was truly priceless and two themes stood out from their advice.

HOPE – they all understood where I was coming from and that alone made  me hopeful. Hopeful that I’m not crazy and that I’ll find new ways to adjust to the hectic demands of my new life. My daughter did not sleep well this week. She took forever to go to bed, woke up in the middle of the night, and then still felt like 6:30 was a good time to start the day. She’s teething I’ve come to conclude and I’m going to have a serious conversation with the teething monster when I find him.  We also thought she had another ear infection (which she didn’t-praise God) and she was just a bundle of crankiness this week. I guess she didn’t get the memo that mommy and daddy took the week off to relax:) This week made me feel like she was a newborn all over again, and I was mad. I thought “You are not following the schedule Isabelle, didn’t we pass the stage when we have trouble sleeping?”  Well that brings me to my next theme…

Grace

One of my friends gave me the advice to give myself GRACE daily. She she shared something someone one shared with her:

In life and in raising children there are seasons. Right now the season you are in is to  be the caring and loving mommy you are. There will come a season where the home stuff just happens and fall into place. For right now give yourself some GRACE.

That made me wonder: why do we put pressure on ourselves for everything to fall into place, to be perfect moms? Giving myself some grace releases me from that need for things to work out “right”.  There is no “right” at this time in my life! Isabelle is going to do whatever she wants! She runs my life and I’m reminded now that it is not such a bad thing. So instead of stressing I’m off to cuddle with my izzitypoo:)

Side note: I just read something from these devotional emails I receive daily that was VERY timely. Thought I’d share it with you in case you’re having some trouble slowing down to notice the blessings right in front of your face:)

http://www.proverbs31.org/devotions/hurry-heart-condition-2012-12/